Never Been Kissed

Yes, Drew Barrymore's film, Never Been Kissed pretty much sums up my life at the moment. Except that I'm not a super geeky, nervous girl who is an undercover journo.

What I am though, and yes I'm admitting it finally, is a 16 year old who has never been kissed.

Eh, watch out, my next post is going to be called 40 year old virgin.

I kind of feel pathetic just talking about this, but I have good reasons...I think.

1. I go to an all girls school. That doesn't mean I'm hopeless in front of guys, I have a lot of guys friends. But you know, meeting a lot of guys, that aren't just friends of your friends is kind of hard these days. And all the guys I already know are of the brother type, if you know what I mean.
2. I'm really kind of picky. Which I know is a really bad thing. But I have my whole mental check list as many other girls do. I don't want to be the girl that is suddenly in love with this guy she just met because he's into her.
3. I'm not the kind of girl that needs to be with someone. Not with how things are going at the moment. Finishing school and keeping up with everything else people expect of you, including trying to figure out how I'm going to get where I want in life.

I'm still kind of pathetic aren't I? Well I can deal with it for now. One of my biggest fears at the moment, is maybe in a few years, when I'm going into an acting job, I'll be expected to kiss a guy and know what I'm doing. Oh how depressing! My first kiss could be a stage kiss!

I've been thinking about families lately, my own family. Yeah I know, big jump from first kiss, but it's just been on my mind lately. Here's the background on my family - my mum was also an aspiring actress, a stage actress, and then she met my dad and put her dreams on hold. Now my parents are getting a divorce, and my mum is always sneaking in comments about how I should never let a guy distract me from my dreams. Result of that? I'm not going to get married until I'm 40 or so. Yes I really am the making of a future 40 year old virgin.

I've really had too much time to think about things really, as you can see. I shouldn't though. I'm drowning under work to catch up with boring subject, and edit a short film I've done for my english ext. class. I've got less than a week before I go to Queensland for holidays, and then I'll never get anything done. Thanks for being my temporary distraction, as I am a chronic procrastinator ;)

Tell me, what are your little fears? Not drastic ones like spiders or heights, but things like how I'm afraid that my first kiss is going to be a stage kiss.