Thursday, June 9, 2011

The Get to Know

What do you really know about me?
What do I really know about myself?

I have created this blog for myself, after a bit of a possibly life changing night, to maybe figure out what I'm doing and where I'm going. Maybe you can help me out, or maybe I can help you out too. I haven't lived much of a life as of yet, as I am only 16, but I always feel like time is slipping through my fingers every time I glance at the clock.

I have this thing with being remembered. People have called me an attention seeker or arrogant if that's all I think about life. But I want to be remember still, for being great, for being different, but I'm always just a little bit out of eye sight to the world.

In my little bio to the side, I've said how I'm an aspiring actress. Also writer and director. Anything in film would be amazing actually. It's silly I know, to believe that I can have it all in that business, in these times, where everyone wants it too, and, as of yet, I don't really know how to distinguish myself from the rest who wish the same. I hope that through the next year or two I can really figure that out.

Next year I enter my final year of school. That starts in exactly 106 days, and just the thought of it makes me sick. I have watched many times all the girls from my school (as I go to an all girls school) who have finished, they all cry and hug and are excited and happy. I think I'm going to be the one that just cries hysterically because she doesn't want to leave. Tonight I went to this lecture about studying at Kings university in London, which would be amazing, but I seem to just be coming up with excuses for not going.

I'm scared I'll blink one day and I'll be 50 and it'll all be too late.

Question: What do you really want to be when you grow up, or what did you want to be and didn't have the chance?

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